The African Pregnancy drama
It has been such a long long time since i wrote anything except for things like proposals and the like. But in the last few weeks, something has been bugging me so much i feel the need to let it all out so here goes!
What is it with the African society and this preposterous idea that we must conceive and bear babies soon after we marry? I have heard and experienced countless people go through tremendous pressure to "bear a child" shortly after marriage. Often times, the women give in to the pressure and sometimes take risks and make decisions that they would not have made rationally if they were not so pressured. Our society is a pushy aggressive one and individuals must learn to stand up for themselves even if it means standing alone. I have watched the tragic outcome of a few victims of this pressure. I have seen marriages break down and happy people become suicidal due to conception pressure and it is sad that we consent to this perception by our silence. Fact: The process of procreation is a complex one that is not completely controllable by any individual. If you believe in God, then you must know that God is the maker and giver of babies. Even if you do not believe in God but are reasonably educated, then you should be aware that not all sperms "catch up to the eggs" and sometimes, when they do, the resulting embryo is not always viable. Conception is one huge game of probability and often out of the control of the individuals involved.
Shoot me if you like, but i stand firmly on the conviction that if you have the capacity to love unconditionally, then you have the ability to mother a child. After all, the most prominent mother figure of recent times never had a biological child, yet she was mother to many! (Mother Theresa).
There are many options in the modern world. There is adoption, surrogacy, IVF, i think it is very unfair that in our society, once a woman is married, the yardstick for calculating her worth is in the number of children she has conceived with her own egg. There are other options and I think it is time we break the silence and shout it out at the rooftop, every woman can have a child to love and it does not necessarily have to be biologically hers.
I understand that the other options have their complexities and challenges but i think it is high time we let people make their choices without prejudice or pressure. Please dont be the inlaw that harps on about the baby a couple is yet to have. Don't be the husband who only wants their biological child, and don't be the wife/woman who gives up everything to please a nonchalant society. Try and be the friend that gently suggests and supports other options. Be the voice of change and free the African bride!
What is it with the African society and this preposterous idea that we must conceive and bear babies soon after we marry? I have heard and experienced countless people go through tremendous pressure to "bear a child" shortly after marriage. Often times, the women give in to the pressure and sometimes take risks and make decisions that they would not have made rationally if they were not so pressured. Our society is a pushy aggressive one and individuals must learn to stand up for themselves even if it means standing alone. I have watched the tragic outcome of a few victims of this pressure. I have seen marriages break down and happy people become suicidal due to conception pressure and it is sad that we consent to this perception by our silence. Fact: The process of procreation is a complex one that is not completely controllable by any individual. If you believe in God, then you must know that God is the maker and giver of babies. Even if you do not believe in God but are reasonably educated, then you should be aware that not all sperms "catch up to the eggs" and sometimes, when they do, the resulting embryo is not always viable. Conception is one huge game of probability and often out of the control of the individuals involved.
Shoot me if you like, but i stand firmly on the conviction that if you have the capacity to love unconditionally, then you have the ability to mother a child. After all, the most prominent mother figure of recent times never had a biological child, yet she was mother to many! (Mother Theresa).
There are many options in the modern world. There is adoption, surrogacy, IVF, i think it is very unfair that in our society, once a woman is married, the yardstick for calculating her worth is in the number of children she has conceived with her own egg. There are other options and I think it is time we break the silence and shout it out at the rooftop, every woman can have a child to love and it does not necessarily have to be biologically hers.
I understand that the other options have their complexities and challenges but i think it is high time we let people make their choices without prejudice or pressure. Please dont be the inlaw that harps on about the baby a couple is yet to have. Don't be the husband who only wants their biological child, and don't be the wife/woman who gives up everything to please a nonchalant society. Try and be the friend that gently suggests and supports other options. Be the voice of change and free the African bride!
Comments